Warning: this is a birds and the bees post.
Mr. Garvey entered the kitchen one evening as Pa and I were cooking dinner.
Mr. Garvey: Ma, can I ask you a question?
Ma: Sure what is it?
Mr. Garvey: When babies are born, do they come out of your butt?
What proceeded next was an explanation of female and male anatomy along with many questions asked and answered. These led to the full explanation of what needs to go where to get the sperm and the egg together. Of course this kind of talk immediately set off the radar of all of the other kids and soon all five were in the kitchen taking it all in. At some point, unnoticed by anyone, Mr. Laura left the kitchen.
Meanwhile, Mr. Garvey was not exactly buying the "three hole theory" as it relates to the female anatomy, so Mr. Edwards showed him a human body book with sketches to illustrate that in fact the baby did indeed have it's own doorway.
At this point, Mr. Laura walked back into the kitchen with his hair wet and all slicked back.
Ma: Mr. Laura, what did you do?
Mr. Laura: I thought it was time that I start looking nice, so I fixed my hair.
Mr. Laura had boiled the above educational conversation down to one practical truth: if he ever wanted to get his sperm hooked up with someone's egg, his looks were an important part of the equation. Evidently there was no time like the present to start working on that. I went to give him a hug and tell him he always looks nice when I was stopped in my tracks by an odor emanating from Mr. Laura.
Ma: What is that smell?
Mr. Laura: Cinnamon toothpaste.
Ma: Oh, you brushed your teeth?
Mr. Laura: (with a sheepish grin) No.
Ma: Well sweetie, what did you do with the toothpaste?
Mr. Laura: (still grinning) You know what I did with the toothpaste.
Ma: No, I don't know what you did.
Mr. Laura: I used it in my hair.
Mr. Laura was wisked off to the shower to clean his hair and more importantly to get rid of the odor. Toothpaste in large amounts really smells bad.
I returned to the kitchen to find Mr. Garvey looking perplexed. The sketches still had not convinced him. He felt that seeing the "real thing" was what it would take to convince him. I reassured him that when he was older and he met someone whom he loved and loved him back, when they were in a committed relationship, when the timing was right blah, blah, blah, that he would see the "real thing". To this he replied, "Yuck! If anyone ever shows me that, I'll punch them in the face."
Something tells me he will feel differently when the time is right.
Mr. Garvey entered the kitchen one evening as Pa and I were cooking dinner.
Mr. Garvey: Ma, can I ask you a question?
Ma: Sure what is it?
Mr. Garvey: When babies are born, do they come out of your butt?
What proceeded next was an explanation of female and male anatomy along with many questions asked and answered. These led to the full explanation of what needs to go where to get the sperm and the egg together. Of course this kind of talk immediately set off the radar of all of the other kids and soon all five were in the kitchen taking it all in. At some point, unnoticed by anyone, Mr. Laura left the kitchen.
Meanwhile, Mr. Garvey was not exactly buying the "three hole theory" as it relates to the female anatomy, so Mr. Edwards showed him a human body book with sketches to illustrate that in fact the baby did indeed have it's own doorway.
At this point, Mr. Laura walked back into the kitchen with his hair wet and all slicked back.
Ma: Mr. Laura, what did you do?
Mr. Laura: I thought it was time that I start looking nice, so I fixed my hair.
Mr. Laura had boiled the above educational conversation down to one practical truth: if he ever wanted to get his sperm hooked up with someone's egg, his looks were an important part of the equation. Evidently there was no time like the present to start working on that. I went to give him a hug and tell him he always looks nice when I was stopped in my tracks by an odor emanating from Mr. Laura.
Ma: What is that smell?
Mr. Laura: Cinnamon toothpaste.
Ma: Oh, you brushed your teeth?
Mr. Laura: (with a sheepish grin) No.
Ma: Well sweetie, what did you do with the toothpaste?
Mr. Laura: (still grinning) You know what I did with the toothpaste.
Ma: No, I don't know what you did.
Mr. Laura: I used it in my hair.
Mr. Laura was wisked off to the shower to clean his hair and more importantly to get rid of the odor. Toothpaste in large amounts really smells bad.
I returned to the kitchen to find Mr. Garvey looking perplexed. The sketches still had not convinced him. He felt that seeing the "real thing" was what it would take to convince him. I reassured him that when he was older and he met someone whom he loved and loved him back, when they were in a committed relationship, when the timing was right blah, blah, blah, that he would see the "real thing". To this he replied, "Yuck! If anyone ever shows me that, I'll punch them in the face."
Something tells me he will feel differently when the time is right.
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