Silver Linings

It has been a while since I have posted. Life has certainly presented us with some challenges lately. In mid April, it took three weeks for a respiratory infection which was more irritating than serious to work its way through all seven of us. Since the beginning of May we have been trying to convince my mom to see a doctor. She began acting in strange ways and had really become the "anti-mom". She was saying and doing things that were so definitely out of character. She was often disoriented, confused and unorganized. Finally on May 11 we got her to agree to see her doctor. She has been hospitalized ever since. In fact, on May 17th she had the first of 2 planned brain surgeries. Thankfully it was successful and she is getting along well.

Mother's Day this year was to be a milestone of sorts for me. Last year this time was both difficult and surreal. Five days before I was to leave for Ethiopia to meet Mr. Garvey, Mary, and Miss Almanzo for the first time, my mom phoned to say she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and would be having surgery in two days. I made the two hour trip to be with her during the surgery and the day after. My grandmother, sister, and brother assured me that they had everything under control and that I should continue with my trip. I rushed back home to finish packing and to say goodbye to Pa, Mr. Edwards, and Mr. Laura. I spent most of Mother's Day that year 37,000 feet above the earth somewhere between Rome and Addis Ababa worrying about my mother, missing Pa, Mr. Edwards and Mr. Laura, and anxious about meeting my new children.

My Mother's Day expectations were high this year. This was my date for which I planned to look back and see how far we've come in exactly one year. My mom had finished her chemo in December and was getting stronger and more active this entire year. Life at home had really settled down. Mr. Garvey, Mary, and Miss Almanzo are family now. No longer do I feel like I am babysitting for Ethiopia and wondering when their parents are coming to get them. So spending this Mother's Day in the hospital with my mom learning that her breast cancer had metastasized to her brain was not what I had foreseen.

Despite the circumstances, the mood was surprisingly light and often even funny. One of the lesions on my mom's brain was affecting her memory. She would often say the same thing over and over. Her most repeated statement was "Where is my black bag with my lipstick? Make sure you don't lose that. I really need it." She would also have times when she could not recall our names and would refer to us as that woman or that man. Her personality had also changed. She was mellow and relaxed and often displayed an uncharacteristic sense of humor. On the night she was admitted to the hospital, the nurses kept trying to get her to take her jeans off. She insisted on wearing them under the hospital gown because in her words "I'm breaking out of here just as soon as I get the chance."

Even though I'd rather my mom not be facing 2 brain surgeries and the impending radiation with all the horrible, horrible side effects, I am grateful to have experienced, even in a situation like this, unexpected moments of joy and laughter. I am humbled by all of those I know who have come out of the woodwork with all sorts of offers to help with my kids during the times I have to be away helping my mom. I am glad that my sister, brother, and I can work together to figure out how we are going to rearrange our lives to be there for our mom. I am finally so thankful for my children who even in the most seemingly somber of occasions can lighten the mood and make people smile. There are always silver linings.