Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Happy Birthday Mr. Edwards!

Today Mr. Edwards turns 10. Ack! Where does the time go? Mr. Edwards has been very excited about his birthday this year. We have been given " X more days 'til I'm 10" greeting each and every morning since the beginning of the month. I'm not sure why he is so much more excited this year. Perhaps it is the double digit milestone. I'm having a hard time with 10. It seems so old, so grownup. It feels like it just snuck up on me. I really don't want to keep him young forever, but I'd love to be able to take a little time travel back through the years just to really remember what he was like at different ages.

Happy Birthday my dear, dear Mr. Edwards! You were my first and you changed my life in wonderful ways I could have never imagined. In honor of your 10th birthday here are 10 things about you that others may not know.

  1. He loves to laugh. Fortunately he has two brothers that are more than happy to provide the craziness and antics for his laughing pleasure.

  2. He once told me that he would move out of our house either at age 18 or 55.

  3. The first word he ever read was "STOP" at age 2 1/2 from the backseat of the car as I accidentally ran a stop sign. His exact words were "S, T, O, P - Stop! S, T, O, P - Stop!"

  4. If anyone could convince me that we have past lives it would be Mr. Edwards. The first few weeks of his life, he always had this sort of worried/amused expression on his face that seemed to say, "Oh great, here we go again. Another new set of first-time parents to break in." He was/is a patient teacher thankfully . Another curious trait that leads me to believe that Mr. Edwards has been here before is that he just "knows" things. Like the time, at the age of 3 1/2, he explained to me that there are male and female pine cones. I had never heard this before, but was so taken aback with his certainty that I wanted to find out if this was true. Now granted he was already reading at this age, so I was sure he had read it in one of his books. I scoured his bookshelves. Nothing. I looked through all of the other books in the house that might have this information. Nothing. At this point I was pretty sure that he was just making it up. One last thing to try. I typed "male female pine cones" into an internet search engine. Guess what I found out. Pine cones (most anyways) have genders. To this day I still do not know how he knew this.

  5. He loves babies.

  6. Once he choked on a piece of nori while eating sushi and literally would not eat solid food for weeks.

  7. He is responsible for the following "family" words: groosegriver (screwdriver), abruxions (instructions), toe food (tofu), tipper dumpers (dump trucks), and squeezers (breasts). Groosegriver, abruxions, and toe food still get a lot of use around here.

  8. He can get quite grouchy when he does not get enough sleep. Otherwise he is always a pleasure to be around.

  9. He can't stand for anyone to be angry with him. He does not have a mean bone in his body.

  10. He is currently interested in becoming a doctor, a chef, or a writer. He started his first book a few months ago, but hasn't written anything for a while.

Here is a picture of Mr. Edwards enjoying his coffee cheesecake (his request). It was yummy!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Phonics Tiles and Secret Messages

This is what I found on the kitchen table this morning. Mr. Garvey had been playing with the phonics tiles and left them out. Mr. Edwards found them and could not resist playing with them also. He created the following pairs of words: "Sick Lice", "OperA Seat", "clay Gun", "thrEE YAKS", "Dill Heater", "blank Test", and my personal favorite "unstable Boy".

As I stared at these I couldn't help but feel a message lay in there amongst the white tiles. I moved them around and came up with this subconscious secret message from Mr. Edwards concerning his upcoming birthday: "HAS LEGO SETS BDAY. 'K? Of course I didn't need a secret message to know this. It is all Lego all the time with Mr. Edwards.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Goodnight Bears, Goodnight Chairs, Goodnight Creatures Everywhere

Mr. Laura is a real animal lover. He loves all creatures no matter how small and creepy they may appear to me. Don't get me wrong. I have a deep respect for life in all its many variations, shapes and sizes. There are just some creatures I would prefer to appreciate from a distance. Mr. Laura has never met a dog or cat that isn't instantly taken with him. He will catch anything from snakes to lizards to frogs. He's even been known to catch a cockroach or two. There was also the time, when he was three, that he chased down a goose bigger than himself. He managed to get his hands on the goose's tail before it finally got airborne.

In his younger days he was not always so careful with the smaller creatures. Several frogs and lizards suffered early deaths because he was too rough. We worked on being gentle and also letting them go after a short time of captivity so they "could be with their family again." This reasoning worked very well with Mr. Laura. Many frogs and lizards were caught and safely returned to the wild. One day, however, he accidentally killed a lizard. This upset him greatly. He carried this lizard around in a box for the rest of the day apologizing for killing it. That evening he asked if we could bury the lizard. He picked the spot for the grave and I helped him dig the hole. As we place the lizard in, he requested that we say a prayer so we did. Mr. Laura covered him with dirt and marked the grave with rocks and flowers. It was all quite sincere and sweet. It was not until a few days later, when an unidentifiable odor began to appear in the house, that we found the poor lizard in Mr. Laura's room. He had dug him up and returned him to the box, he said, "because he did not like to think of him all alone without his family."

Last night, as I passed the bathroom where Mr. Laura was getting ready for bed, I noticed him blowing kisses and saying "Sweet dreams. I love you. See you in the morning. Night, night" over and over again. I asked him if he was telling his reflection in the mirror goodnight. To which he replied, "No. I was talking to the ladybugs." This particular bathroom is the warmest spot in the house and attracts lots of ladybugs much like Florida attracts snowbirds from the north every winter. I stepped into the bathroom and sure enough there on the counter were about six ladybugs that Mr. Laura was "tucking in" for the night.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

A Labor of Love: Before and After

Well today is the day that Mr. Edwards gets all of his hair cut off. He decided to grow out his hair really long after finding out that his grandmother has breast cancer. He will be donating his hair to Locks of Love. Here is the link if you are not familiar with Locks of Love http://www.locksoflove.org/

Mr. Edwards has always had longish hair for a boy, but he really began growing it out for this purpose 1 year ago. Everyone thinks that he is a girl. He thinks it is funny and rarely corrects anyone. I forgot to tell his new art teacher that he was a boy with long hair. She thought he was a girl for the first three weeks of class and addressed him as such. His good friend could not stand it any longer and finally informed her that Mr. Edwards is a boy.

I for one have absolutely loved his long hair. It will be sorely missed by me, but I think it is wonderful that he has chosen to think of others in need and to do something about it.

Well without any further ado here is Mr. Edward's after picture.


Thursday, February 15, 2007

Tiny Butterfly Girl and Other Lies We Tell Our Children

Mary lost three teeth sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. That is when the "lies" began. Mr. Edwards began filling her in on the details of the Tooth Fairy. He gave her all of the step-by-step instructions on how she could turn the teeth into money. However, "Tooth Fairy" was really a meaningless term for the Ethiopians so a different description was needed. Mr. Edwards explained that the Tooth Fairy was kind of like a tiny butterfly girl. This was an image they could understand. Of course right then and there Mr. Garvey had questions: "How does this tiny butterfly girl get into our house?", "How does she get the money under your pillow without waking you up?" and "How can such a tiny person carry so many heavy coins?"

I have waited 9 long years for these kind of questions from Mr. Edwards. Never once has he doubted the people with "magical" abilities that visit our house during certain times of the year. Mr. Edwards is an incredibly smart kid. He loves science. So I have always been baffled why at 9 1/2 he still believed so completely.

I had decided not to make a big deal out of Santa Claus this past year because of our new children. I didn't want to ruin it for Mr. Edwards and Mr Laura, but I also knew with the kind of questions Mr. Garvey asked about tiny butterfly girl that he would have some big questions about Santa Claus. I was afraid beyond just questioning the logistics of such an operation, that Mr. Garvey would also want to know things like, "Why didn't Santa Claus bring us food and toys while we were in Ethiopia?"

The inevitable happened sometime in early December. Mr. Garvey walked into the kitchen and said, "Mr. Edwards just told me that an old man with a very big abdomen is going to fly in the sky, come down our fire spot, and bring us toys and candy. Is this true?" I couldn't lie to him. I could not look this probably 10 year old in the eye and lie. I also didn't want Mr. Edwards to find out about the "lies" from Mr. Garvey. I managed a pretty vague answer and left him with "What do you think?"

On the next Saturday I took Mr. Edwards out to lunch. On the way to the restaurant, I broke the news to him. I told him that Pa and I were Santa Claus. He sat there a few silent moments and then let out a big sigh and said, "Well that explains why I never got anything I ever wanted for Christmas." Evidently he had been writing secret letters to Santa and asking for things that Pa and I were not aware of. We continued on to the restaurant and had a nice lunch peppered with a few more questions like, "What about the Easter Bunny?", "What about the Winter fairy and the Halloween fairy (don't ask)?" and finally with the tiniest bit of hope left in his voice he asked, "Tiny butterfly girl?" "Sorry, not real either," I replied. Overall he took it pretty well and now seems to relish the idea that he is "in" on the secrets. I have also let Mr. Garvey in on the truth about tiny butterfly girl and the old man with the very big abdomen.

The younger three still "believe". Tiny butterfly girl will be paying Mr. Laura a visit any day now for his first tooth. Mary is getting excited about the "big white mouse that lays chocolate eggs" coming to our house soon. Mr. Garvey, not being a fan of chocolate, is really disappointed by the upcoming holiday. He has approached me privately to work out a trade - his chocolate for some of my money. After we came to agreement on the terms, he said with a knowing smile on his face, "make sure that the 'big white mouse' brings some really good chocolate, you know the kind you like." Oh I will!

Monday, February 12, 2007

More on Panther G*d

Mr. Laura often becomes really immersed in his fantasy life so much so that he actually lives it in real life and demands that others come along for the ride. Like the time a few years ago when he changed his name to Zipper. He ran around introducing himself to strangers by saying, "My name is Zipper. Watch me zip zap". He would become so frustrated with us if we forgot to address him as Zipper. This lasted about one week. Just about the time we were getting pretty good at remembering his new name, he abruptly informed us that he was no longer Zipper and that we could go back to his real name.

Or like the time more recently. It was shortly after our Ethiopian children came to America. I think Mr. Laura was jealous that they could speak to each other in a language he did not understand. Unbeknownst to anyone, he developed his own personal language and began teaching it to Mr. Garvey, Mary, and Miss Almanzo. They of course thought they were learning English and when they spoke to Pa and me in Mr. Laura's language, we thought they were speaking Amharic or Hidaya. There was a bit of confusion for awhile over the names of things until Mr. Laura revealed what he was up to.

Currently Mr. Laura is very focused on Panther G*d. We are learning more and more as the days go by. Here are some interesting and sometimes strange facts about Panther G*d.


  1. Panther G*d wants Mr. Laura to be kind, share his toys, and help others.
  2. If he violates any of these commandments during the day, Panther G*d visits him at night, shakes him awake with her claws and roars at him.
  3. Panther G*d is also his wife.
  4. Today when Mr. Edwards caught him violating one of the above commandments, he told Mr. Laura that Panther G*d might be watching. Mr. Laura matter of factly stated that Panther G*d was not with him at the moment. When asked where Panther G*d went, Mr. Laura replied that she was shopping. As it turns out, Panther G*d is very particular about what she eats and prefers to do all of her own food shopping.

Barn Building

I did say this blog was going in part to be about building our barn and house. So I guess it is about time for an update. We have started with the barn. As you can see, we have gotten a few sections of wall up on the loft of the barn.

Today was a lovely day. It was about 65 and partly sunny. The kids and I met Pa at the land at about 1 today and got home around 5.

The kids and I walked an entire circle aound our field (it's about 25 acres) today. It is exactly 2,000 steps. We then measured my stride length and calculated that one loop around the outside of the field is a little under 1 mile. A round trip to the mail box will be about 1/2 mile.

The kids kept themselves busy the rest of the afternoon with building forts, running through the woods, and making up games.

Here's one more picture of Pa hard at work.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

G*D

As I folded towels in another room, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between Mr. Edwards and Mr. Laura. It went something like this:

Mr. Laura: Am I Jewish?

Mr. Edwards: You can be if you want to be.

Mr. Laura: Are there people who don't believe in G*d?

Mr. Edwards: Yes.

Mr. Laura: I hate those people.

Mr. Edwards: Then you hate me.

Mr. Laura: G*d made us. How can you not believe in him?

Mr. Edwards: There are lots of different ideas of what G*d might be. Which G*d are you talking about anyways?

Mr. Laura: The Panther G*d of course. What animal G*d do you believe in?

Mr. Edwards: I told you I don't believe in G*d.

Mr. Laura: But if you did, what would be your G*d?

Mr Edwards (completely exasperated): Science!

Mr. Laura: That's not an animal.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

"I'm so Happy!"


The flight from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to Charlotte, NC via D.C. took about 24 hours to complete. As we de-planed in Charlotte, I remember how relieved I felt that I had actually managed to get three children who spoke no English, had never been on a plane, and who were scared and confused back home safe and sound to meet Pa, Mr. Laura, and Mr. Edwards for the first time. That is when she bolted. Mary left me standing there with Mr. Garvey and a sleeping Miss Almanzo in my arms, three back packs and two carry on suitcases. Where she was going I'm not sure, but she was wasting no time getting there. I began screaming her name. Fortunately a woman figured out the situation and stepped in front of Mary long enough for us to catch her. From there we managed pretty uneventfully to make it to baggage claim to meet Pa, Mr. Edwards, and Mr. Laura and so began our new family.

To say that Mary and I have had a rough adjustment to each other would be an understatement. Mary pretty much disliked me from the moment we met. It was obvious that she did not want to leave Ethiopia and she needed to blame somebody. She understandably chose me. She had not asked to give up everything that was familiar to her and start again with strangers. Her Ethiopian family had made an adoption plan for her and her brother and sister that they felt was in their best interests, but that did not mean that she would be a willing participant. Mary possesses a lot of qualities that will make her a survivor, but these qualities are not often easy ones for the parent. She is independent, determined, strong-willed, brutally honest, opinionated, and questions everything. At the same time she is funny and playful, generous and compassionate. It is these latter qualities that I had difficulty seeing initially.

The first two months were very trying. She told me in no uncertain terms that she did not want to be here, that she did not like me, and that she wished I was dead. I'd like to say that as the adult I didn't take any of this personally, that it did not affect my feelings towards her, and that I was always patient with her while she worked this out. Of course I'd be lying if I did. I took a lot of deep breaths, apologized a lot, and kept telling myself that "this too shall pass".

Fortunately for the entire family Mary and Pa hit it off. It gave both of us some much needed space from each other. I remember the turning point for me. One day Pa remarked that Mary is really so sweet and it would have been a real tragedy if she had been left behind in Ethiopia. Sweet? Mary? Sweet? My brain locked up. It was as if Pa were telling me the earth was flat after all. I could think of a lot of other adjectives but I could not put Mary and "sweet" together. I couldn't believe we could both live in the same house with Mary and each see her so differently. I wanted to see what he saw. I began watching their interactions and trying to see Mary through his eyes. That is when I felt my heart soften. It hasn't been easy but day by day I feel the love and trust building between the two us.

One of my remaining concerns is that she never seems happy in the way that Mr. Garvey and Miss Almanzo do. She has understandably hesitated to embrace her new life fully. It is as if she has made a bargain with herself that she will accept her life such as it is, but that joy and happiness will not be part of it. She is never satisfied. Nothing is ever good enough. She is always sure that one of her siblings got something better than she did. She screams, "I hate this," as she opens the birthday gift you bought her. The birthday gift she explicitly told you she wanted. She is so determined to be unhappy.

So last night as we drove her to her second gymnastic practice of the week and of her lifetime, I heard the sweetest words I never thought I would hear from Mary. The car was quiet and completely out of the blue, as she bounced excitedly up and down in her seat, she giggled and said, "I'm so happy."

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Happy Birthday, Miss Almanzo!

Miss Almanzo turns 4 today! She has requested a chocolate cake with coffee icing and "white" ice cream. I really like her tastes! She is the most American of the Ethiopians. From the moment she lept into my arms eight months ago, she has never looked back. She has made herself right at home. So in honor of her 4th birthday, here are 4 things about Miss Almanzo:



  1. She has the most dazzling smile, infectious laugh, and sweetest voice imaginable.

  2. She absolutely wants to be older and get to do all of the things her older brothers get to do.

  3. When she grows up she wants to marry her friend Colin or her uncle, Big "T" (or Big Coffee as she refers to him. She missed the point that it was the initial "T" and not the hot beverage "tea" and then got confused and substituted one hot beverage for another, hence the Big Coffee. We all kind of liked it and now refer to my brother-in-law as Big Coffee.)

  4. She is definitely a Pa's girl. She prefers him over anyone.

Here is a photo of Miss Almanzo enjoying her Happy Birthday!